tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post2704977774096778715..comments2023-05-22T05:23:33.917-07:00Comments on Love in the Time of Chronic Illness: helping partners cope with illness: Grand Rounds: Vol. 5 No. 17Barbara Kivowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04069286366650175153noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-52334928422367990682011-02-01T14:32:57.122-08:002011-02-01T14:32:57.122-08:00Simple and sweet. I’m thinking of starting another...Simple and sweet. I’m thinking of starting another blog or five pretty soon, and I’ll definitely consider this theme. Keep ‘em coming!.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-40399156608833271432009-01-14T09:38:00.000-08:002009-01-14T09:38:00.000-08:00Great stuff - I posted a thank you on Teen Health ...Great stuff - I posted a thank you on Teen Health 411!Nancy L. Brown, PhDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10859944271977753994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-73743173118189148722009-01-13T14:50:00.000-08:002009-01-13T14:50:00.000-08:00Thanks, Barbara K., for passing along this wonderf...Thanks, Barbara K., for passing along this wonderful story of connection at a critical juncture. It is very moving.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-85223939762981374152009-01-13T08:43:00.000-08:002009-01-13T08:43:00.000-08:00The following was emailed to me by a wonderful wom...The following was emailed to me by a wonderful woman who reads this blog and has been dealing with cancer. She wanted it to be included in Grand Rounds, but doesn't have a blog of her own. Her story is about making a real human connection with the team that's about to operate on you. Here it is:<BR/><BR/>In June of 2006 I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. I arrived at Mass General Hospital on the morning of the surgery, and sat with my family for an hour or so in a large waiting room filled with other people in my situation, listening to every mangled name to hear mine. There were perhaps forty people, a few in hospital johnnies waiting to be called, the rest having come along for support. It was difficult to get any information from the desk staff other than “Someone will call you shortly.” I felt anxious and invisible, but I was trying to hold myself together.<BR/><BR/>After an hour I was called in for the pre-op interview, which was with a lovely nurse who had been at MGH for 30 years. When she touched my knee kindly, I started to cry, just from the feeling of being seen. I was told to put on my hospital gown and rejoin my family in the waiting room, again to be called “shortly.” “Shortly” wound up being three hours later, when the anesthesiologist was ready to meet with me, and I was put on a gurney in an anteroom to the operating room. (We learned later that the delay was due to the fact that there were no beds free in the hospital, including in the recovery room, so that there was a backup, much as when planes stack up over Logan.)<BR/><BR/>I was there for another hour and a half, but that was fine, as I was kept company throughout by the anesthesiologist, and by the surgical fellow, both lovely men. It gave me a chance to talk with them about my beliefs and wishes regarding the surgery, which I have developed over the last thirty years of various surgeries that my husband and I have had. I told them my belief that, even when people are anesthetized, they hear everything that is said around them; they just aren’t able to process it fully. I asked if they would be comfortable talking to me throughout the procedure, especially during the time going into and coming out of unconsciousness. I told them that it would help me very much if they reassured me periodically that everything was going very well, that the surgeon felt good about things, and, if there were any comments that an unconscious, non-medical person might misinterpret, (e.g. “Boy, this is a mess!”), could they just reassure me that everything was going fine, this was just shop talk. I couldn’t tell if either of them was familiar with all the research that has been done on this subject, but they were very respectful, and agreeable to my requests. (Though, when I told them they could even ask me to bleed less profusely, or to raise or lower my heart rate, I did think I saw the flicker of a smile.)<BR/><BR/>When they left me alone for a few minutes, I began to think about my situation. What occurred to me was that, really, I was a “dead man walking.” If I lived in a different time, or place, or was from a less privileged social class, or had not had symptoms, or my symptoms had not been taken seriously, I would, in not too long a time, be dead. But I felt quite confident that, in a few minutes, I would be wheeled into the operating room, and that, when I left it, I would be okay. I thought to myself that I did not want the magnitude of that reality to go unacknowledged. So when they returned and asked me if I would like to be given something to put me to sleep, I told them that I felt calm, and asked if it would be possible for me to be awake when we went into the OR, as I wanted to meet everyone who would be involved in the surgery. They were fine with that.<BR/><BR/>I liked being wheeled in, and seeing the room and all its equipment. My surgeon was there, and he re-introduced me to his two fellows, and to the anesthesiologist. I asked to also be introduced to the scrub nurses, who were busy getting things ready. Then I told them what was in my heart. I said, “ I know that this is your work; you do this job every day, with great skill, and I know it is routine for you all. And I understand that this is not an unusual or complicated surgery for you. But I want you to know that, for me, it is not routine: I know that what is about to happen is that you are going to save my life. I want to thank you profoundly for that.” Both of the nurses turned around and looked at me, and one said, “Thank you so much for that.” One of the fellows said something too. I felt so grateful, not only for the surgery, but that a moment which could have felt so anonymous, in which they might not ever know who I was, and I might not ever know who they were, was now a brief moment of visibility, of connection. I felt calm and peaceful.<BR/><BR/>Then they gave me the anesthesia. The anesthesiologist sat so that his arm cradled my left side, and my surgeon stood so that he was cradling my right side, and I felt held as if I were a baby. I could hear the anesthesiologist speaking to me, telling me that everything would go well.<BR/>And as I awoke from the operation, I could still hear his voice, and the surgeon’s, gently reassuring me that things had gone well, and that I would feel comfortable and calm when I awoke. And that is exactly what happened.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-82245986273968367752009-01-13T07:18:00.000-08:002009-01-13T07:18:00.000-08:00What a futuristic, fabulous Grand Rounds! Amazing!...What a futuristic, fabulous Grand Rounds! Amazing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-300566861174368542009-01-13T06:13:00.000-08:002009-01-13T06:13:00.000-08:00Awesomely put together.nice collection of sci-fi f...Awesomely put together.<BR/>nice collection of sci-fi flicks.Indian Medichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14267863624450677014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-29843234240051368282009-01-13T06:12:00.000-08:002009-01-13T06:12:00.000-08:00Great job, Barbara!Thanks for hosting, and for inc...Great job, Barbara!<BR/><BR/>Thanks for hosting, and for including our post.<BR/><BR/>You missed one, though:<BR/><BR/>http://tinyurl.com/2oxghm<BR/><BR/>:-)<BR/> H G Sternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09024546809016528222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-88300312759888781582009-01-13T05:53:00.000-08:002009-01-13T05:53:00.000-08:00Love the original theme here, and how compiled th...Love the original theme here, and how compiled the posts. Great job, and thanks for including my post!Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10392908564921877962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-77597032164000668182009-01-13T05:36:00.000-08:002009-01-13T05:36:00.000-08:00Loved the theme! Thank you for your terrific, well...Loved the theme! Thank you for your terrific, well written edition!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-78348225187914425392009-01-13T05:19:00.000-08:002009-01-13T05:19:00.000-08:00Wonderful edition!Wonderful edition!rlbateshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15236331355857884458noreply@blogger.com