tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post4971205154199908708..comments2023-05-22T05:23:33.917-07:00Comments on Love in the Time of Chronic Illness: helping partners cope with illness: Dumb Things Practitioners Have SaidBarbara Kivowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04069286366650175153noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-31232658866925844582013-04-03T18:10:34.182-07:002013-04-03T18:10:34.182-07:00Not only is it good to have another set of ears an...Not only is it good to have another set of ears and questions in the room besides your own, but the doctor should be encouraging the spouse in the room for another reason too - so the spouse can hear what's REALLY going on. Let's face it, even those of us who tell our husbands (or wives) about our pain, we usually don't tell them everything or how bad it really hurts. We often do tell the doctor though. <br /><br />I have had my husband say "I didn't know it was THAT bad" when hearing me speak to the doctor about my problems. It's not that I hid it from him. It's that I try not to make every other word out of my mouth be "ouch/that hurts/I'm in pain/this sucks".<br /><br />For the record the stupidest thing a practitioner ever said to me was:<br />doc- "I think I found something that will stop the pain" me- "oh great! What is it?" doc- "here..." and he handed me a sample pack of anti-depressants!!! My husband wanted to punch him (but didn't). Two months later I was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation, tethered spinal cord and Ehlers Danlos.....but of course it was all in my head :)Family Valueshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10347959567953804126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-32505784653529827232013-03-16T20:26:12.368-07:002013-03-16T20:26:12.368-07:00Crazy. That's just crazy for the doctor to not...Crazy. That's just crazy for the doctor to not encourage your husband to come into the exam room. For one thing, if you're in pain, you're not able to focus and remember and understand everything so having an extra set of ears and an extra brain to ask questions is undoubtedly a Good Thing. <br /><br />The stupidest thing a practitioner said to me was my cardiologist who, when talking about POTS, said that women with it eventually get better on their own. How did he know that? Well, they stop coming in to see him. Apparently it never occurred to him that the reason they stopped seeing him was because he was condescending and dismissive. :PAvivahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16411667763810131618noreply@blogger.com