tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post884075263187477328..comments2023-05-22T05:23:33.917-07:00Comments on Love in the Time of Chronic Illness: helping partners cope with illness: Couples and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)Barbara Kivowitzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04069286366650175153noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-24769891847069247782015-11-26T04:11:03.565-08:002015-11-26T04:11:03.565-08:00Hi Barbara,
First off, I came across your site an...Hi Barbara,<br /><br />First off, I came across your site and wanted to say thanks for providing a great OCD resource to the community. <br /><br />I thought you might find this infographic interesting, as it shows detailed information about the social signs of OCD to look for, and has proved to be a great hit with our readers: http://www.healthline.com/health/ocd/social-signs<br /><br />Naturally, I’d be delighted if you share this embeddable graphic on http://insicknessinhealth.blogspot.com/2008/04/couples-and-ocd-obsessive-compulsive.html , and/or share it with your followers on social. Either way, keep up the great work Barbara!<br /><br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Nicole Lascurain | Assistant Marketing Manager<br />p: 415-281-3100 | e: nicole.lascurain@healthline.com<br /><br />Healthline<br />660 Third Street, San Francisco, CA 94107<br />www.healthline.com | @HealthlineNicole.lascurain@healthline.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-77843199928063564562010-11-29T18:32:35.537-08:002010-11-29T18:32:35.537-08:00Hi Sam - you clearly have a difficult, but not unc...Hi Sam - you clearly have a difficult, but not uncommon, situation you are dealing with with this couple. And it clearly shows how intertwined the relationship and the illness are.<br />Without knowing a lot more about this couple it is hard to give advice. My guess is that you have already tried many avenues. So with that, here goes some thoughts:<br /><br />If they have relationship issues such as control struggles, passive aggressive behavior patterns, etc. these issues will inevitably play out between them in any arena - including her OCD. And anything can become yet another weapon to use. Couples therapy can help them address these underlying issues and patterns(rather than continually act them out in derivative form).<br /><br />Alternatively (or in parallel), if they are capable of it, perhaps they can negotiate a clear arrangement so that they don't have to battle it out each time. E.g. he will do 1 or 2 things her way, as a gift, not as a capitulation. The rest of her OCD behaviors are up to her to manage. In return she will offer him some behavioral/emotional gift, something that will be for his benefit.<br /><br />In terms of the issue of whether the well spouse should participate in the OCD behaviors to help the ill partner - where should they draw the line -- that is indeed a tough question and I defer to OCD experts like yourself. Here are some questions this raises for me:<br /><br />Does he really think she has an illness? Would he be equally unwilling to pitch in if she had leukemia or MS?<br /><br />Is asking him to participate equivalent to enabling her (if we apply the AA/Al-Anon model) and is it better for her if she deals with her OCD without expecting anything from him?<br /><br />I hope this helps. Feel free to email me if you'd like to go into this in greater detail.Barbara Kivowitzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04069286366650175153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-68239578829426396102010-11-25T04:04:57.849-08:002010-11-25T04:04:57.849-08:00I am a humble CBT therapist and I want to know you...I am a humble CBT therapist and I want to know your thoughts. I see a couple where the wife has ocd and the husband says "Your issues are not my responsibility!" meaning, specifically, I will never empty the trash when it is half-full...."That is her problem." This is one example of many "different standards". Ultimately, she takes care of numerous tasks because she can't tolerate them being undone. What is the spouse's responsibility? Where do they draw the line? The trash is one area they struggle over but what if it is something like checking a door several times? Should the spouse have to engage in this behavior also? (By the way, with this couple, standard cbt interventions and communication skills training can often be used as a weapons by a hostile partner.) I welcome your thoughts.Sam Curtishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16314889567385227414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-77116677818298467212008-04-28T14:53:00.000-07:002008-04-28T14:53:00.000-07:00I don't get them saying that either. My sons both ...I don't get them saying that either. <BR/><BR/>My sons both have OCD. My oldest has been medicated, but my youngest went manic when he was on medication. CBT was our only option ...and when OCD is severe neough and CBT is the only option ... it becomes a family event. <BR/><BR/>My son had a 'working diagnosis' of autism from the ages of 3 to 10 ...and all of the therapeutic modalities that we used involved the whole family ... 24/7. None of them involved just my son. It was all of us, as a family unit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3364669902775880430.post-16705400859534962002008-04-21T15:20:00.000-07:002008-04-21T15:20:00.000-07:00This is a very important point. My husband has PTS...This is a very important point. My husband has PTSD from Vietnam. At first all the focus was on the client. Most of the partners had no idea of commonality of symptoms, what they meant and how we could help or make the situation worse. We would all have benefited by shared information and strategies and therapy from the outset. What seems best practice, common sense is taking a long time to get through. No man/woman is an island.jeiseahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00014643458189789888noreply@blogger.com