Monday, February 15, 2010

I Really Hate Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a complicated holiday for couples who are dealing with chronic illness or pain. It's supposed to be a day of champagne bubbles and dinners at romantic restaurants, chocolate and sweet kisses.

But what if alcohol and chocolate aggravate your symptoms and pain keeps you from being able to sit for too long, especially in a restaurant? How can you celebrate Valentine's Day with your sweetie? Do you even want to or do you prefer to let it slide by as just another day?

I was feeling rather bleak that my pain picked Valentine's Day to spike. Instead of cuddling with my partner, I was curled around a heating pad and focusing on all the things we would not do that day. And when I get in that state of tunnel vision, it's hard for me to extract myself.

Richard pointed out that even if we sat of the couch, side-by-side with the heating pad and the TV remote control, we were still being together. In some ways, without all the imposed artificiality of hearts and flowers removed, we could focus on what was truly important - not the symbols, but our love and tenacity.

He could switch channels while I switched temperature settings, and know that we have abiding love, and don't need Hallmark cards to prove it.

So I hope you all find your way to appreciate love for each other, on Valentine's Day, and any other day you choose.


Wacky Lisa said...

It really is hard. Both Mr. Wacky and I are sick but I'm generally sicker than he is.
I find the biggest problem is the pressure I put on myself to make any holiday as good as possible. When I do that I'm almost guaranteed to flare, be cautious, and fall apart when there's even a minor oops because I 'ruined' his day.
Overall I find Mr Wacky much more easy going and calm about almost everything.
I have a lot to learn from him.

Shiri said...

We don't like V-Day in general, but we were hoping to go to our favorite restaurant and to a fun indie movie, but of course I was much too dizzy and too weak for the subway to the restaurant and the next best place in walking distance was backed up for hours. So, because my heart can't be a team player, we ended up with cheesy (and not lactose cheesy, but ambiance) Italian and Olympics. But, I have him, and he didn't complain, and thats all that mattered, really.