July 4th

I have come to fear holidays, especially those that carry an extended weekend in their wake.  This means more days when I will be unable to contact my helpers -- doctors, nurses, other assorted healers. Not that I need to speak to them on a daily basis, or even monthly.  It's just knowing that there is a long weekend desert coming up I have to cross without their availability is worrisome.  All the "what ifs' come pouring out of me.  What if I have a pain spike? What if I think I have an infection?  What if.....fill in the blank.

By now, I mostly know how to deal with the what ifs on my own.  But, what if a what if arises that I can't control.  And the beautiful irony is that worrying about my practitioners being unavailable is just the stress that can kick off a pain spike.

I realize how dumb this is.  Why worry in advance?  Or as a friend counsels me, "Why worry twice?"  Excellent advice.  If only I'd learned it when I was 4 years old.

My cushion against pain-inducing worry is Richard, my sweetie.  He just doesn't worry.  Plus he's a natural-born problem solver so he is very adept at coming up with theoretical solutions for my premature worries.  And sometimes he makes me laugh at my "awfulizing," which is the best cure.

Do you worry in advance?  How do you cope?

Here's hoping your July 4th is worry-free!